t.g.i.oh fuck it.

im at work on a saturday and it sucks.

at least its not sunny and warm out, so that all you lucky bastards who DONT have to be at work right cant COMPLETELY enjoy the day.

in honor of my saturday sucking the following is a list of all things suck...

-having to work sunday too

-chapped lips

-being the janitor who comes in saturday nights after a shitstorm of work during the day... do you like how i related janitors and shitstorms?

-dry skin right after a zit has healed (because you know you picked it), where you cant pick it off, but trying to conceal it with foundation only makes it more noticable

-trying to compete on a dancing show with one leg and having to wear those god awful lycra pants with hideous bellbottoms

-papercuts

-tuesday morning hangovers. at least you got to make up for saturday

-how blogger keeps trying to automatically log me in with my gmail account.

-getting almost sone with the saturday workday only to realize you have to reprint the 4 copies of the 122 page book and rebind them... nuts.

alright, im over this post. ive been here too long.

only because kc! said so

check this AMAZING link out...

http://www.wefeelfine.org/

this is their mission:
Since August 2005, We Feel Fine has been harvesting human feelings from a large number of weblogs. Every few minutes, the system searches the world's newly posted blog entries for occurrences of the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling". When it finds such a phrase, it records the full sentence, up to the period, and identifies the "feeling" expressed in that sentence (e.g. sad, happy, depressed, etc.). Because blogs are structured in largely standard ways, the age, gender, and geographical location of the author can often be extracted and saved along with the sentence, as can the local weather conditions at the time the sentence was written. All of this information is saved.

The result is a database of several million human feelings, increasing by 15,000 - 20,000 new feelings per day. Using a series of playful interfaces, the feelings can be searched and sorted across a number of demographic slices, offering responses to specific questions like: do Europeans feel sad more often than Americans? Do women feel fat more often than men? Does rainy weather affect how we feel? What are the most representative feelings of female New Yorkers in their 20s? What do people feel right now in Baghdad? What were people feeling on Valentine's Day? Which are the happiest cities in the world? The saddest? And so on.

The interface to this data is a self-organizing particle system, where each particle represents a single feeling posted by a single individual. The particles' properties – color, size, shape, opacity – indicate the nature of the feeling inside, and any particle can be clicked to reveal the full sentence or photograph it contains. The particles careen wildly around the screen until asked to self-organize along any number of axes, expressing various pictures of human emotion. We Feel Fine paints these pictures in six formal movements titled: Madness, Murmurs, Montage, Mobs, Metrics, and Mounds.

At its core, We Feel Fine is an artwork authored by everyone. It will grow and change as we grow and change, reflecting what's on our blogs, what's in our hearts, what's in our minds. We hope it makes the world seem a little smaller, and we hope it helps people see beauty in the everyday ups and downs of life.

i feel its an amazing thing... see look, i made it on their site just like that.

i also feel like kc! can shut the hell up now :)

la la la

my tongue hurts after eating a cookies and cream skinny cow ice cream sandwich.
it may be, however, from eating handfuls of sour patch kids.
i stayed home from work today because my stomach hurt.
go figure.
really though. it did/does hurt.
i will spare you details but i have a feeling it relates to friday night... of overly hydrating that night, and then the massive dehydration that followed as a result.
friday night was fun.
i realized in my state of drunken euphoria that seeing the mountain goats after a year is like exhaling... all that carbon dioxide built up for a year finally getting to escape.
and the company seemed right.
i got all teary eyed and i love you man-ed out while toasting bill and beth. the last time we saw the goats was when beth was 5 or so months pregnant. youve gotta be proud of people that can have and keep someone else alive and manage to do it with some panache. and by panache i mean coke and lots of irish car bombs... i kid i kid... about the car bombs at least.
i also almost got all teary eyed again when i came back from the bathroom to see the bill. but then i realized i have a sugardaddy so all was right with the world again...
i havent been that pleasantly drunk in a long time. there was no drama or fighting- just good times (well, except when i was yelling at jason at jack in the box, but thats because im a mean drunk).
anyway...
on a different note, the mayor of swelltown (see previous post) found my blog and left me some comments. you better bet that has added fuel to my celebrity gossip fire.
i should go to bed...

cake.

i think i want to bake and decorate cakes for a living. im more passionate about the decorating part, but it would be nice for someone to be telling someone else that didnt know me, "omigod. you have to try her pomegranate, mint, bacon fat cake. it sounds disgusting but it is to die for."
yeah. something like that...
ive been tired of design for about 6 years now. im pretty sure its worn out its welcome.
cakes make people happy. logos, not so much.

celeb stocks

i am a celebrity gossip whore.
and this is my new addiction:
www.swelltown.com
i post this in hopes that some of you are secret celebrity whores too. join me in the greatest obsession.
im amorgan714 on there.
find me.

the secret

so theres a positive thinking vibe sweeping the nation. oprah was talking about it once before and had the speakers on her show on friday. learn more here:
http://thesecret.tv/
ANYWAY. the gist is to think positively about what you want to happen in your life instead of thinking what you DONT want.
sounds a little granola but it makes sense. you go in to a situation with the expectation that it will be wonderful and it normally will. go in with the expectation that it will be hard and horrible and its probably going to be shitty...
so i decided to test it.
jason and i were playing battleship. im pretty fucking good at battleship to start with so it may not be the BEST example. but we were playing the first game, which i won... but it took a while and was pretty close. he sunk three and was on his way through my fourth when i took down his fleet. of course he wanted a second game.
thats when i put my plan into action. i kept thinking "i want to win this game. i really want to win this game. im going to win this game. i will dominate." losers guess first in our house, and his guess was a miss. my first guess? a hit! of course there were a few misses here and there in trying to figure out the orientation of the boats, but once i sunk the battleship- the battleship no less! the first boat i sink in my path of domination is THE battleship. so once that boat was eliminated, my next guess? a HIT! i sunk three of his boats one right after another jsut like that. he managed to find only one of my boats as i took him down. he still claims i cheated, and i guess hes right. he doesnt know about the secret.
i plan on watching the movie. im curious and excited to see what the effects of this positive thinking will be in the more important parts of my life... like cranium and scrabble.

dear centrum a to z multivitamin

please stop with the gassiness.

its making me think you arent worth the daily supply of vitamins a to zinc.

the only thing we have to fear...

can we talk a little bit about this? have you seen or read the news this morning? in boston there was much ado about this little guy to your left. apparently he is a circuit board device that blinks, batteries exposed. essentially a light bright used a guerilla marketing. very clever in my opinion. but not to the bostonians.

people there were running around like the sky was falling. the city went into high alert. kids were left abandoned in school yards. subways were shut down. i saw video of bomb squads remote detonating this thing as if it contained vials of the plague coated in tuberculosis wrapped in lyme disease.

people. C'MON. we have a problem.

did you think it was very tongue in cheek of the terrorists to make a bomb that flips you off before it kills you? did you think that little angular, pixelated guy was some sort of islamic symbol for martyrdom?

i was flipping through a book that had winning design entries for the year and i saw a book design that had graphic journal entries based on news reports for the last few years. i noticed (which i think was the point) that terror was always the lead in each news day.

sure, the chances of getting hurt or killed in a terrorist attack in the u.s. are probably higher ever since g.w. has thrown our hat into the century long religious war ring, but being higher really only means a what? 1 in 1,000,000,000 chance instead of 1 in 1,000,000,000,000?

it just seems silly. bad things happen, yes. and sometimes they happen because of malicious thinking, but lets get real... there are better things to be scared of:
parrot influenza
salmonella on my kitchen faucet handles
the dark
hantavirus
ghosts
demonic possession
lou gherigs
mice
parkinsons
robbers
brain tumors
plaque causing me a heart attack
.
.
.
but not terror.
and not the little cartoon network guy. in fact, i want one. so if you happen to see a bomb squad moving in for the kill, can you just run in and grab him for me. maybe wear a hazmat suit for good measure though.

i think i might be lazy...

i have to pee right now, but i REALLY dont want to get up. im not even all that comfortable. just lazy.
i dont like getting my own drinks. i will sit here thirsty until someone comes into the room. and at that point they are already up, right?
guests are told to "feel at home" but really its just because i dont want to have to keep refilling their cups. its a bonus if they get mine while they are up.
if it wasnt unhygenic i would skip the tooth brushing part of my night. 2 minutes on a sonicare is just too long.
there are probably more things that prove my laziness, but lets face it... im too lazy to write them.

things that suck

hot yoga
dead fish
dead mice
semi dry laundry
fat days
black things in my teeth during client meetings
holes in my pants
hot yoga
5 day work weeks
7 day work weeks
american idol this season
right wingers that keep fucking with obama and then apologizing
quad pain
laundry
7 am
scuffed shoes
momoneymandy.blogspot.com
hot yoga
mountain goats show being a MONTH away
bad bites of meat
dust bunnies
marcel
lint on hang-dry clothes
my second crush in life getting married
overpriced frozen strawberries
coworkers who demand a lot and do little
flying
hot yoga
dry feet
chipped nail polish
squeaky axles
pillow styled hair
static electricity
puddles
hot yoga

all seems to be right with the world

billy burned me a mountain goats cd a long time ago that i listen to religiously. but i still dont know which tracks are which... i know grendels mother is #4 though.
so tonight i started with that.
then i wanted to hear no children. boom. first try.
then i clicked #17. i have no idea what the song is called but its the "never going back to cincinnati" song. its exactly the song i was looking for and everything seems to be right with the world tonight.
(which instantly leads me to believe i'll die in my sleep because ive heard things always go perfectly before you die.)
but im going to bed happy...

what i did on my martin luther king's day weekend

it was an eventful uneventful weekend.
we didnt do a whole lot. thats us most of the time anyway. but this weekend a few things happened to spice up our laziness.
friday night we saw a mouse making a dart for our coat closet. we had seen said mouse (or one of its brethren) a month prior, just before christmas. my dad set traps in the laundry room (read the farthest room from the coat closet) but we didnt catch anything. surprise surprise. so we still had the traps, unused. apparently you can reuse them, but you find me the person with the balls big enough to release the corpse and reset it. i can tell you that peson does not live in our household.
we set the trap when we saw the little bugger run into the closet. then we shoved a towel under the door so it couldnt run back out. we checked the trap on saturday to find the little guy had eaten the peanut butter with a feather touch. we set another trap. and once again he ate it without triggering certain death. then he snuck out past the towel barricade. im all for little creatures living in harmony with us, but i was warned of hantavirus and mass colonies of rodents. i was still pulling for this little guy until he started fucking with us. so we researched how to set the traps... and learned we were putting the food in the wrong place- well, not wrong, just not secure. within the hour we had caught one. by the next morning jason was throwing out another corpse. (he did not do this without complaint or girly shrills however).
the landlord sent over a maintanance guy to caulk our mouse hole (hott). i think we're ok now.
whew.
in the midst of all of that we found our 80 year old neighbor on the sidewalk at the bottom of his cement steps. he had been taking his recycling out 30 minutes prior and slipped. we helped him up and tried to call an ambulance for his bleeding hand and lack of balance but he was very adamant that we didn't. we picked up the recycling to find it weighed at least 60 lbs. hell, id fall too. jason helped him back in the house and we contemplated the value of his house versus our cumulative time taking out his recycling. i kid i kid.... kind of. he has a lady that checks on him everyday, so we let her know (in a very round-about way) that he had fallen. and i think we'll take his recycling out from now on.
we watched lady in the water. it was eh. i was into it because i liked the fairytale aspect of it and i have always wanted to be little and live in a fishtank. a pool is kind of the same thing. but it was cheesy, and not scary at all. not even jumpy parts. but we watched in hd, and that was awesome. its worth renting, but not worth late fees. return it on time kids.
we also joined the mages guild and have considered taking on a quest to cure vampirism but dont know if we should invest the time.

because i dont have anything worthwhile to blog about...

30 unknown facts/secrets about yourself:

1. When was the last time you shaved your legs?
Wednesday, but before that... maybe New years?

2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Putting on my makeup, watching my girl Diane Sawyer on GMA and reading my celebrity gossip sites.

3. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?
Reading friends blogs, myspace stalking a few people and figuring out how many points are in a bowl of chili.

4. Are you any good at math?
yes i am. i wanted to be a math teacher. or an orthodontist.

6. Do you have any famous ancestors?
miles standish is my 18th great uncle.
and my crazy grandma is conviced we are related to the queen. she also thinks she was pregnant with her neighbors baby, but we'll let that one slide.

7. Are you mad at anyone right now?
president bush, anyone who "accidentally" referred to barak obama as osama in hopes of slandering his name, and your mom.

8. Do you know the words to the song on your MySpace profile?
i know the first verse.
second verse same as the first but a little bit louder and a little bit worse.
thats not it. i just felt inspired.

9. Last thing recieved in mail?
my dental bill and val-pak!

10. How many different drinks have you had today?
i had a glass of water. i thought about hot cider. then i had another glass of water. coffee sounds good. but im currently on my thirsd glass of water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machine?
not always. sometimes i like to phone stalk too.

13. Any plans for tonight?
happy hour and then a quiet night tending to a sick domestic partner.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?
no. i draw your moms name.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?
i really cant stand having impreassions made. its not exactly painful but having all that goo in your mouth...
>>>insert "goo in mouth" comments here<<<

:(

fuckin buckeyes

parrot fever

that's what my coworker has been diagnosed with.
essentially the bird flu. but its a different strain- not the "gonna kill everyone on the planet" kind. its mixed with chlamydia. yep. the clap. my coworker has the bird clap.
part of me still thinks he's faking it- im a skeptic and he doesnt have the worlds best work ethic. we know our kind.
and apparently he must have some sort of parrot fetish. *shudder* *blush*

"..."

where does the punctuation go?!?!

...and i said "ok."
OR
...and i said "ok".

?

i cant remember. is it ALWAYS inside the quotation marks? even if the sentence isnt entirely the quote?

lego + star wars = heaven

buy
this
game.

or just come over and play it.

happy 2007

welp. here we are. somehow 2007 isnt as exciting to me. it has nothing to do with what the new year has to offer. its just the numbers really. somehow 2006 is a much more exciting number than 2007. im looking forward to 2008 as well. something sexy about that 8. and its not just the evens. i mean, i liked 1999. but maybe i have the artist formerly known as prince to thank for that.
anyway. 2007. what should we do this year? last year my resolution was to run a marathon. check. so maybe ill take this year off. we'll see.
we rang it in right though. thanks to you kids that toasted the akward fireworks with us.
hope the hangovers aren't as bad as they should have probably been.

cornnuts!*$%#^

new lunchtime poll-

would you rather see me

a: get up early, get dressed and head in to work for a productive day after a 6 day christmas vacation and an upcoming 3 day one?

or

b: get up early, write an email that ive come down with some sort of stomach flu and go catch a matinee?

dear billy

thanks for being born.
last night was a bucket of fun.