.,?!-;:'"

i am making an effort to better my posture.
and to floss more.
and to dress more appropriately for work.
i am trying to wear my hair down more.
and pick my battles.
i would like to eat more fish. possibly even raw.
i am trying to put my shoes away when i get home.
and purses too.
i am planning to wash my car. and keep it clean.
i want to sign up for yoga.
and get a new job.
or be a stay at home girlfriend.
theres a toystore i want to own.
and a clothing line i hope to develop.
all while selling graeters ice cream.
i am happy using punctuation where it is not needed. especially periods.
i want to change my nose ring to an actual ring instead of a stud.
i pretend i have already done that with my hoop earrings.
sometimes i wish my tongue was still pierced. it made me edgy.
i want to get a puppy.
or a boat.
i need to stop cursing so much.
and learn to cook.
i would like to go on and on here. but i have to work now.
.

toot toot

thats the sound of my own horn.

look where i ran this weekend.

wanna be amazed in detail?
http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=456229

dear bad dancer in front of me...

you do not look good. pursing your lips together and throwing the peace sign up does not make you hotter. the drink you slurped down is not helping. and now you are sweaty. the heckling you think you are doing isn't funny- and i like hecklers. it is especially pathetic that you need to turn around to your equally bad dancing, lame drunk friends for confirmation that your funny (lame) joke was great (horrible).
dear bad dancing girl who pushed your way into the small crevise you called a dance floor in front of me...
look to your right. meet bad dancing boy.

15 items or less is still MY winner

last night i got the urge to make a chicken pot pie. well, it was the night before actually, and last night was the night to implement my plan.

*taps fingertips together*

i ran into billy at the grocery store while shopping for supplies. we played dad-to-be and the other woman when we went to the counter to pick up beths pre-natal vitamins. it felt dirty. then we played pmsy bitch and in-touch with his feminine side lover as we taked about periods in the tampon aisle. it was hot.

then came check-out time. dun dun duuuuun. i personally do not like the self check out aisle. i think it takes more time and is simply there so people can feel like they are accomplishing something instead of standing in line. i practice patience. its a virtue. and i am virtuous. but billy was into it.

..and the racers are:
-billy in the self check-out aisle
-mandy in the 15 items or less aisle (with 2 people in front of her)

green flag.

c'mon guy, who pays cash? swipe the credit. oh, lady can't you scan those items faster? ooh, billy looks like he has to "show id to the cashier." that'll buy me some time... cmon... CMON! do you really have to look up the price of onions?! yes ill sign. give me my receipt. GIVE IT TO ME!

checkered flag.

billy by a nose.

damn.

...

we were the host house for a party yesterday.
the hostess has a drinking problem. and an ex boyfriend problem. and, well, a whole slew of problems.
so it made sense when she promised not to get wasted and cry in the corner that night.
2 bottles of wine and 3 shots of whiskey later, she didn't really hold true to that promise.
i mean, i guess its hard to abstain when everyone around you is drinking, but i would imagine you would want to say no to another glass of wine when you have fallen in the restroom and torn your purse handle apart to show the shoddy craftsmanship of your $300 bag.

>>>sigh<<<

unicorn power

im a procrastinator. i dont like to do all the work im supposed to do during the allotted time i am supposed to be doing it (this doesnt mean i dont make my deadlines, just that 9 to 5 doesnt work for me).

i digress. (also a favorite word, or term as the case may be)

so today, as im trying to not work, i stumble across this little doozy (oh, how excited am i for the puyallup fair?! http://www.doozy.net/index.asp) of a "how to" page.
http://www.wikihow.com/Dissuade-Yourself-from-Becoming-a-Blogger

key points against blogging are as follows:
...no one really wants to read your musings.
...you have better things to do.
...your words are waste of precious [server] space.

you can also find links in said article for:
...100 reasons not to blog
...top ten reasons nobody reads your blog
...top ten blogger lies

coupled with:
...how to start a blog
and
...how to write a famous blog

personally, i like to read the blogs. they make me laugh, and i can leave snarky (also a good word- new to my vocabulary, thanks to google "define") comments on them. i find them insightful. they can be a catalyst for clever banter with people you have never met, but know dirty stories about, or a place to come home to (yeah, i dont know about that last part, ive just lost my blogging steam for the day)

so to the author of this how to page, i have one thing to say to you...


and to you bloggers out there, fighting the good fight, i leave you with this...



damn the [wiki-how] man!

verbage

---words i like---
heretoafter
wherewithall
shenanigan
henceforth
ingenious
forte
livid

---words i dislike---
panty
moist
fabulous
melange
booby
plasma (as it relates to bodies)

THAT guy

we have been scattered, smothered & covered in music lately
(a delicious waffle house experience for those of you that are not from the midwest)

last weekend was bumbershoot. typically a great 4 day festival with line-ups to make other festivals jealous. this time around it was 3 days, smaller (physically), and a less than perfect line up. the most frustrating part about the whole experience were the teenyboppers. god they are so unaware and self important. dont they know they need to get out of MY way...

wednesday was a concert at marymoore park. polyphonic spree opening for matisyahu. we had seen the polyphonic spree nearly two years ago as a surprise free concert the first night of hanukkah. amazing. i flirted with the viola player (ugliest one in the group, thus an easy target) and while i didnt manage to snag a party backstage, he did give me his bow. and by bow i mean...

matisyahu was great too. as close to a religious concert as ive ever been, but seemingly cooler... hassidic jews know whats up when it comes to reggae.

but lets get back to polyphonic spree. when we saw them perform the first time around, they were in different colored robes. very cultish. this time around, they were dressed for the revolution. a little less cultish, a little more nazi. but we didnt go the whole night with out the robes... because there was THAT guy.

you all know that guy. he's that guy at the show who is wearing the band shirt from the previous tour. the shirt has all the dates listed on the back, not unlike the plastic cups from mcdonald's with the nascar dates listed on them (shake and bake!). but THIS guy... he didnt have a tshirt with tour dates... no no. he had a robe!


he could not have been more content and proud that he was donning said robe. he was a true fan. strutting to and from the beer garden, head held high.

more power to ya polyphonic spree robe wearing man! at least the tour dates werent listed on the back. THAT would have been a little much.

crocs rule!

the crocodile hunter died yesterday.
i read it on cnn. com as i was getting ready to head out for my run. i had to reread it- twice. to sound cliché, i literally couldn't believe my eyes.
sure- hes hurt.
critically injured even.
i mean, honestly, it was bound to happen. he lost a hand. hes being rushed to the hospital for an anti-venom shot. i always thought that news would be funny, and cause him to consider a second career.
but not dead.
the news is on par with the death of princess di, or the death of pluto as a planet.
we used to watch him in college at the boys house. we used to make fun of him. he was so overdramatic and WAY too excited about the snake holes he was reaching into. but he was so sincere and passionate.
he was killed, as beth poignantly pointed out, by something without teeth.
r.i.p.

super jock n jill

i cant get out of bed.
my butt hurts.
i ran 13.1 miles today- look.