i wrote a post earlier this morning. the day was starting out just fine.
yesterday i left work early. i went to the park and just stared at the water for a while. i took a nap.
he came home. we talked. everything was ok.
we have always been the best of friends. i dont want to lose that. its just hard to imagine not seeing or talking to him everyday. im not quite sure how to handle that.
this morning he was getting ready at the same time i was leaving. he asked how i was doing. i though was doing ok. i lost it.
i just feel like everything i know is in the air and im completely panicked. i dont know what to do. sometimes it feels like i cant breathe.
does it get easier? of course it does. but it feels like the easiness of it is unobtainable right now.
i feel broken.
i feel scared.
one minute i feel like throwing up.
the next i feel like putting on a dress and taking a walk.
i havent eaten. im not even close to being hungry.
fuck.
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