happy 4th?

it seems apropos that this im feeling alone this independence day.

sitting here, slightly disappointed in the "party" we threw. the last few years have been good turnouts lasting well into the night- well past when i wanted people to leave.

this year was a little dry. there was a "party custody" decision and fewer appearances of confirmed guests. the roommate got really drunk, possibly offended, and is now passed out. and im sitting here wishing i was wasted but knowing my drinking is done for the night with nothing more than an evening headache to show for it.

i dunno. maybe im feeling sorry for myself. it definitely feels like a different 4th. and thats tough to stomach. guess it comes with the territory... fireworks just always feel so festive and hopeful to me.. or at least they normally do. tonight they just seemed like something that happened........

at any rate- happy 4th. heres to a better next year.