today is the solstice (which im actually a little confused about- i always thought solstice jsut meant the longest day of the year- which should be the 21st- but apparently today it happened at 4:59pm. i dont get it.) ANYWAY.
today has always been one of my moms favorite days of the year. mine too actually.
but tonight, im in my room. in my echo-y house... what to do? this afternoon i was loving single-mandy. and i dont think im far from that. but its a far reach from happy sunshine-y drunkeness and an empty echo-y house... culture shock? i guess so.
last night was the last night (i assume) i live with a boyfriend. now i live alone. at least for a week. then lisa moves in. but it still seems pretty poignant to walk in to so much missing. this was my life. for nearly 4 years. and now, sometime between bedtime and happy hour all of it is physically gone. excpet for my refuge of a bedroom. and its not even the boyfriend aspect of it that is missing. its the best friend part.
how do you stop missing your best friend? boyfriends will come and go... hopefully sooner rather than later. but how do you get over that emptiness of sharing?...
...
i still like single mandy. but she is a little tipsy and sad right now.
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